American Aquarium Drinker

Here’s the apology for being delinquent in posting. I’ve had a new job that’s been starting up and I’ve been getting used to Bahston. I’ve spent a lot of time watching the Red Sox even though I’m technically an Orioles fan. I tell myself the real reason I’m watching is I like to be in the know about local sports since the fandom in New England is always at a fever pitch, what with the powerhouse teams and all (the Patriots steamrolled the Miami Dolphins this afternoon). And I’m sure you’ve heard about the big gun pitcher for the Cleveland Indians, Fausto Carmona. He sucked last game but… what a name. His goofy ass could dream up a fashion line tomorrow consisting of trash bags and old soup cans that you duct tape to your body and the “garments” would fly off the shelves. The commercial for the clothing line would go like so: a stunning lady wanders around an Italian villa wearing a trash bag going “Fausto… Fausto…” in a lost, vacant voice and then at the end some Italian male model covered in old soup cans would come out from an alley and stare at the camera and go “Carmona.” Write me a check, world.

In other news, the real reason I’m posting is to bring to your attention that I’m an amateur website designer. C.A. Spring has created the website for the Southern indie rock sensation known as The Sometime Favorites (note: that’s SometimE not SometimeS… get it right or you’ll look like an ass). The band has been getting acclaim throughout Virginia especially for producing tight, straightforward rock and putting on a ridiculously good live show. The singer, James East, has a better voice than anyone I’ve heard live in a long time. If you like the Killers but think Brandon Flowers could sing better, or like Ryan Adams, the Strokes, or the now defunct band Jump (Little Children), this band is for you. So far the site is bare bones and just forwards to their MySpace page, but that should change shortly.

BusinessWeek has come out with their 2007 IDSA IDEA Awards. They give gold, silver or bronze medals to companies for innovations in design (91 in all). I thought the sweet Samsung LCD Mobius monitor was well designed. Look at it fold! Also on the site I noticed a cool new integration between a personal LCD monitor and a stationary bike. This had particular salience for me because I was granted a free 10 day trial at the nearby Boston Sports Club in Allston and was surprised at the sheer volume of machines with their own monitors. Basically, I think that caters to the whole skewed idea that “modern” means “separation from other people to enhance multitasking and not really enjoying any one activity”. Personally, I wish I had a bike around here but Boston was only dubbed “America’s Walking City” and not “Bike Wonderland USA” since it is a notoriously treacherous land for bikers (”Ah… biker. I’m such an idiot.” - Super Troopers).

The other week I was walking to Cambridge and was crossing an intersection, and saw a makeshift shrine to a girl who had died at that intersection in a bicycle wreck. Strapped to an electric pole, her mangled bike was painted white with fresh flowers in the spokes, and the whole area was surrounded with pictures of the girl. Shudder. Oddly enough, a few days later I went to Pita Pit and they had a clipping from a local paper about the same girl - who happened to have been an employee there. Very saddening.

Essentially, due to that grim experience and my knowledge of the local street congestion, I know that I’ll never buy a bike here and may have to join a gym, although I’ve found some purely body weight exercises that do the job just fine and make me feel incredible pain. Pain is good. Ahhh, if only I could just be a disciple of Gym Jones.

As promised, I’m going to address my two favorite reality shows: Three Sheets with Zane Lamprey and No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain. The shows have a lot in common: they are both hosted by smug, affable guys wandering the earth in search of a good time, which more often than not involves taking in the local dizzying swill of choice. Excellent!

Three Sheets airs on a channel that is exclusive to HD digital cable subscribers called Mojo. The channel on the whole is full of glossy programs including London Live!, a half hour live musical acts show and another drink-centered show - Uncorked with Billy Merritt. Zane Lamprey, the aforementioned host, is quite possibly the funniest person on television. He is willing to make a complete ass of himself as he goes around a country sampling their native alcoholic beverages and eventually also finding out what the local hangover cure is. He also does one of my own personal favorite comedic moves - laughing improperly loud at something and then abruptly going silent and making a disturbed or angry face. Now, this show is by no means a typical “travelogue” as it is full of sound effects reminiscent of The Flintstones, running literally 30 sound effects per minute thus making it more of a wasted cartoon if anything. As made clear in one episode, the whole show can be enjoyed as a drinking game if you have some friends watching with you or you’re horribly lonely and feel better drinking alone if the guy on the TV is imbibing too. Here are the rules:

1) You drink whenever Zane drinks.

2) If the stuffed monkey appears on the screen, the first person to notice and point to someone else in the room while yelling “DRINK!” … makes that person drink.

3) If the name Steve McKenna is uttered, you have to drink. This is Zane’s best friend. Zane has also modified this name into a verb that means “wasted” i.e. “I’m going to get totally Steve McKenna’d tonight! Woo!” (exposes nipple)

4) Bonus rarity: if Scott McKenna is in the episode, you also have to drink when he drinks.

5) Another rule that I made up: if Zane actully passes out or vomits during the episode, finish your drink.

What makes this show great is that it is totally unapologetic about what’s going on. You’re watching someone get completely wasted in front of strangers. And there’s no pre-show warning about the content, which gives it another star in my book.

Links: Three Sheets Website and Zane’s Blog

On the other hand, No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain (Travel Channel) does have a pre-show warning, due to the fact that some angry viewers (the un-time-strapped elderly) complained about his swearing and sexual jokes. Anthony is 51 years old but acts like he’s 30, he’s a chef and author of the restaurant exposé Kitchen Confidential and formerly imbibed in numerous drugs. I can’t imagine a cooler host.

Although generally polite, Anthony makes no qualms about voicing his feelings about eating or drinking something that absolutely sucks or making jokes about the indigenous folk. Aside from the snarky comments, Anthony’s show follows a basic travelogue format. He goes around meeting people, taking in events and local culture while devoting most of his time to devouring the traditional cuisine. However, I lump this show in the same category as Three Sheets because he actually does drink quite a bit, and if you’re fascinated by the drink in all it’s varieties like myself, you’ll find it interesting. You have to devote some time to it however, as the show is an hour compared to the half hour cut of comedy that is Three Sheets.

Links: Anthony’s Official Site and the No Reservations Site

Oh yeah. You also learn a lot about the countries and their respective traditions on these shows too. An added bonus for those who have basically been trapped on the North American continent like myself, aside from random visits to St. Croix.

Update: You know what, I hadn’t seen the show in so long it slipped my mind.  These shows are a lot like Insomniac with Dave Attell.

The obligatory message about joining the blogosphere goes here I suppose. I’m mostly starting this blog as a springboard (no pun intended) for me to get back into the tech world and gain the impetus to start actually creating things again. I’m trying to get into graphic design and web design, something I dabbled in a lot my first year of college but lost touch with. It’s been about 6 years since I let my creative side shine through as it had been stifled by my now fallen aspirations to go to law school (too mind numbing) or get into psychology (realized I didn’t want to go to grad school for psych or be a clinical psychologist).

So soon I’ll try to have some bitchin’ code and get this looking hot. Speaking of hot, here’s a picture from Bonnaroo 2007 of The Roots, who did a little medley that included “This is Why I’m Hot”. It was the best live performance I have ever seen (maybe it was the atmosphere).

Slainté! (That’s “cheers” in Irish. Learned while watching one of my favorite shows - Three Sheets starring Zane Lamprey. More on what a sweet show it is in a later post.)